Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
