It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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