you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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