In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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