My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
