So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
