Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
