Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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