I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
