just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
