I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
