Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
