Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
