Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
