problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
