I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
