how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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