I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
