Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
