I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
