Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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