so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
