You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
