I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dignity is for republicans.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
