If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
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We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
tell me about the fingering
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