I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
handjob tips. give me some.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
