I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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