She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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