I want to make a zoo with you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Vodka?
Forever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
