my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
