I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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