so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
