I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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