So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
where are you?
Hypothermia
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
