Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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