I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
not ubering you a puppy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dear god my vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
