Christians are straight up FREAKS
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
