And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
