Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
