oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my poor anus
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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