so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
