Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize