weddingsv make me drug and hornr
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
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We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
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I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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