I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize