I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
