I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
