I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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