We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
