Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
