That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
