I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
