I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Farmville is her only friend.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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