I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just high enough for therapy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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