When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
