i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
