You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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