I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
