yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
