Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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