Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
