either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
