kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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