So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
