she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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