Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
