It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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